by Jack Perry
“The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.” – Henry L. Stimson
“Handshake agreements” have moved societies along and accomplished much since the beginning of time. Whole nations have been created, property bought and sold, and millions of other deals have been agreed to without benefit of a contract, with no more than the joining of two hands. Originally a means to demonstrate to the person you were meeting that you were not concealing a weapon, the handshake now is a social indication of openness and trust. In greeting or to seal an agreement, the handshake requires a relationship between two people to execute it. It’s a symbolic action to signify mutual assent.
Verbal agreements that are sealed with a handshake indicate an understanding between parties, just like written agreements, but without documentation or attorneys. The handshake represents recognition of equality, a level playing field, an understanding that both parties are agreeing to give up something in order to compromise and take actions that will be mutually beneficial, whether it’s signing a peace treaty or painting a house for a designated sum. This understanding might concern a small commitment or a huge one, but in any case it involves trust—in both the other party and in yourself—in your own ability to honor your side of the deal.
Non-Verbal Agreement are Everywhere
Interestingly, people are making non-verbal agreements all the time, as well as agreements sealed with hand gestures and signs. A quarterback in a football game looks to another player and nods his head to indicate “You’re going to do this, and I’m going to do that.” A baseball catcher’s hand signals to the pitcher represent a similar kind of agreement. Even boxers touch gloves before a fight, a sort of handshake to demonstrate that they will “fight fair.” In commodities trading, hand signals fly with the agreements to buy and sell. The covenant of marriage—an agreement to live and love “‘til death do us part”—involves the hands in more ways than one. Pledges and vows—agreements of allegiance and truth-telling—also feature the hand to the heart or raised in oath-taking.
Historically, verbal/handshake agreements were essential to commerce and the building and maintenance of societies and cultures around the world. The ability to keep those agreements was, in effect, a test of one’s honor and character. The ancient Hebrew Talmud teaches us that “To break an oral agreement which is not legally binding is morally wrong,” and in 500 BC Confucius advised, “Make fair agreements and stick to them.”
Handshake Deals in the Modern Business World
Are we too cynical these days, too litigious and distrustful, to engage in handshake agreements anymore? Do only fools believe in honor? Must everything be in writing, especially if it involves money, because others are just fundamentally untrustworthy? Will greed inevitably rear its avaricious head and break any agreement worth making? Can we even trust ourselves to be honorable and resist the temptation to welsh on an agreement when we know we have the superior position?
Truly successful people in life (on other levels than just financially) are those who keep their word. Do you believe your word is your bond? When you make an agreement, do you keep it? Ask yourself the following series of questions to see if you have what it takes to harness the Power of Agreement.
Is keeping an agreement important enough to you that you will stick with the process through each step and follow through?
Do you believe that making and keeping agreements can lead to a happier, more successful, more meaningful life?
What are you committed to? What are you willing and able to make agreements about? What agreements have you already made in your life that are especially important to you?
Are you willing to do what it takes to fulfill your end of a bargain, to meet your obligation at all costs?
Do you have the courage, conviction, and strength to back up your agreements, even when you’re tempted to do otherwise? Even if the deal becomes inconvenient or unprofitable?
When you break an agreement, are you strong enough to go to the other party and say, “I said I’d do something but then I didn’t do it. I’d like to make it up to you. I want to make it right and go forward with it”?
Honor Your Agreements and Honor Yourself
Obviously, you would be foolish sometimes not to have a written agreement. Sometimes, the more detailed the contract the better, as when you’re buying a home or a business. But in your everyday life, you have many opportunities to honor a handshake and a verbal agreement, and this, in turn, honors you.
Rather than trying to snake around the terms of a verbal agreement, changing those terms to your advantage because there’s nothing in writing, you have a chance to show that verbal agreements do work and that both parties are better for it. When you do that with someone, you enable the other person to have more courage in his or her daily actions and personal power, as well as in the Power of Agreement. The brilliant Booker T. Washington knew this; he said, “Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him.”
Of course, you will encounter those who make agreements with you that they have no intention of honoring. They will change their minds. They will lie to you and back away and not hold up their end of the deal. They’ll feel pressured or be pressured by others to take advantage and not keep their word. They’ll make poor short-term decisions. But this doesn’t mean you will follow suit; always keep your word-you might get burnt on occasion, but you still have to stand up and take the consequences, because you made the deal. As Sophocles said, “Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”
Agreements from The Respect Factor® Series
THE RESPECT FACTOR® is a trademark of Jack Perry in the United States and other countries. Used with permission. ©2009 Jack Perry. All rights reserved.
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synthol
Posted by: synthol | December 12, 2011 at 01:10 AM