What Your “Dash” Really Means

By Jack Perry

When you read a tombstone, you see a name, a birth date, and a death date. What’s in between the dates? A dash. That little horizontal black line between your beginning and your end represents what happened between the dates—the sum total of your good decisions, your bad decisions, your successes, your failures, and all the events in a word, a phrase, or a statement. What your dash says is a choice only you make in your life. The good news is that you still have time to create the meaning of your dash.

If your dash could talk, what would it say about you? Your dash is either by choice or by chance just what happened. If you’ve let your dash have a life of its own and haven’t taken accountability for it, it’s not too late. You can plan your life in detail and execute it with confidence. How? Plan for the dash just as you would an event, like a birthday party, and by following the script to a “T.”

For your script for the party, you would first decide the date, the budget, the number of guests, the schedule of events, and the choices of favors and refreshments. You then share these plans with an informal board of directors (like family members), monitor your progress, and modify the plans if necessary. When it’s over, you look back and evaluate whether the event was a success. You can make notes as to what you could do differently next time to improve the outcome.

When your “dash” is over, you won’t have this luxury of playing the Monday morning quarterback. Other people will be evaluating your life. What would your friends and family say if you died today? Would you rather they say something different? It’s never too late. Take the time to plan your dash so you are confident the end result is meaningful.

If you don’t invest the time and energy to document your dash, you are not serious about having a purposeful dash. To create your best dash possible, follow these steps.

Step One: Be Proactive
Establish your personal values. To do this, set aside personal time to plan your dash. Write down key words that relate to the values you deem important. These values might be unique from your peers. Some common values include: health, education, family, spiritual, community and career. Next, write a statement for each of the values you listed. For example, if health was one, write down what you would like to accomplish with your health: gain muscle mass, lose weight, exercise four times a week, eat better, etc. Be specific. Plan it out in detail.

Step Two: Take Charge
Consider sharing these values and goals with an outside board of directors. Be prepared that they might try to rain on your parade. Think about what your friends, family, and business associates would say about each of your values if they were asked when you were no longer here. Be sure they are able to come up with positive answers.

Step Three: Evaluate Your Values
When you wrote down your values how many did you have? If you wrote down six or seven, but only one of them occupies 90% of your time, you are not balancing your time well. If you put too much of your time and energy into one element of your life, your dash will become unbalanced and turn into a forward slash leaning too far into your career or a backward slash leaning too far toward playing. When this happens, you’ve either just slashed your career short or your other priorities short. The key to a happy life is having your dash, by choice, weighted evenly.

Look at your schedule. If all your appointments are business meetings and networking events, or if all your appointments are for massages and golf outings, you need to reevaluate how you spend your time. Make appointments to engage in an activity once a week that addresses each of these values. Volunteer, attend your child’s ballgame, and make exercise appointments. When you look at your calendar, you should see a variety of commitments, to your business, to your family, to yourself, and to your community.

Step Four: Decide How You Want Your Obituary to Read
Write out what your “perfect” obituary would say. Now read it over again and make note of what is going on in your life that doesn’t match the text. What haven’t you accomplished yet? Use straight talk and get right to the point. Write down what you still need to work on. Be specific.

Step Five: Do It Your Own Way
You can live the life of your choice—within certain boundaries. You might not be able to change the weather or change how your friends think, but you can certainly change what your dash will be. You must have the courage to predetermine what the dash will be and then take action to establish what each of those values would be in your life. At the end, your dash should have meaning for you and everyone else in your life. No more dashing around without purpose, wondering at the end of the day why you did the things you did. Instead, you’ll be saying, “I’m making my personal dash count—for me and everybody else.”

Create a Dash You Can Be Proud Of
Take an audit of your time and how you invest it. Do you want to only be known as a business person working a hundred hours a week, or do you want to be known as someone who made efficient and balanced use of your time? Will you be remembered as someone who not only put your heart into your business, but also into your community, your family and others?

Remember, everyone will look at your dash some day. The people closest to you will not remember your most successful business deal or the size of your bank account. They will remember the commitment you made to help others and the time you invested in the struggling young rookies in your business. They will remember the non-work events; the family trip to the mountains, how you tirelessly taught your son to ride a bike, played catch before school, how you served soup at the homeless shelter, etc. Make sure your dash stands for the right things and varied endeavors. 

Define and document your values and your goals. Plan your dash. Take small steps toward making your dash something you and your loved ones will revere.

Dash from The Respect Factor® Series

THE RESPECT FACTOR® is a trademark of Jack Perry in the United States and other countries. Used with permission.  ©2009 Jack Perry. All rights reserved