by Jack Perry
Most business professionals know that getting team members,clients and prospects to trust you is one of the biggest and continuing business challenges. Often, you and your clients must have many meetings before you earn their trust and get them to open up to you. Depending on what your proposition is, this can be an extremely time-consuming process. And because the trust factor is so important, you can’t overlook this step.
But wouldn’t business and personal relationships be so much easier to establish and maintain if you could get people to quickly trust you ? Trust your motives? You could save valuable time and resources in getting people to reveal their true needs and areas of concern, and you could spend less time building your professional relationships. Sound too good to be true? Well, it isn’t; you can accomplish all these feats by empathizing with people.
Empathy means you know and understand how another person feels in a particular situation. You can see things from the other person’s perspective, and you know the feeling of standing and walking in his or her shoes. When you show that you empathize with a person, he or she will subconsciously feel that you understand him or her and believe you can help. Then people will start to share more and open up because they trust you. Your business associates and clients will also become more receptive to your ideas, which is a major step in building or improving a relationship.
In many ways, demonstrating empathy is the combination of many skills and techniques: body language, listening, eye contact, and asking questions. You can use the following strategies to become more empathetic and show your clients that you really care about solving their problems.
1. Improve Your Listening Skills
Understanding the other person’s point of view is the key to empathy, and you simply can’t be empathetic without listening. If you can’t listen to a person without interrupting, or if you can’t give the person your full attention, then you can’t empathize with his or her situation. So the first step in becoming more empathetic is learning how to be a better listener.
Use eye contact when a person is talking to you. Face the person with your body and lean in. Give him or her your full attention rather than thinking about what you want to say next. Pause before responding, and rephrase the person’s message to make sure you understand what he or she really means. These basic techniques will improve your listening skills and send the message that you really care about what the person has to say.
2. Give Feedback
Once you’ve heard and understood a person’s situation and feelings, you need to offer feedback that showcases your empathy. Tell the person, “I know how you feel.” Show your compassionate side, and maybe even share a story about yourself in a similar situation. This communicates that you are aware of what’s going on in the other person’s life.
3. Educate Yourself
If you want to see a situation from another person’s angle, then you need to understand his or her view. Take time to educate yourself on race issues, cultural issues, and gender issues that might affect your prospect’s opinions, needs, and challenges. When you better understand the person’s stance, you’ll be better able to empathize.
4. Make Yourself Available
Making yourself available to people will encourage them to come to you when they need solutions. Keep your door open and make time to listen when someone needs you. When others talk, don’t interrupt; use your non-verbal skills, and be non-judgmental. This will build trust and strengthen relationships.
5. Learn How to Ask Better Questions
If you want to get more information from a person, you have to know the right way to ask for it. You want the person to talk and share his or her thoughts, which often takes encouragement. Simple questions asking for a “yes” or a “no” will get you an answer, but they won’t get the other person to really open up.
Open-ended questions, such as “What are your main concerns with buying from me?” will encourage the person to share more information. And clarifying questions, such as “So you are afraid of changing suppliers at this critical time? Do I understand you correctly?” will make sure you receive the person’s message accurately.
6. Involve Yourself in More Personal Conversations
If you’re not usually the type of person who likes to make small talk in the break room, or if you never get involved with your professional contacts on a personal level, then you are missing opportunities to improve and express your ability to empathize. Take time to talk to people and get to know them personally. If your friend , business associate or client has a picture of his family on his desk, ask about them. Ask what they are doing for the weekend, or how they plan to spend the holidays.
Then make an effort to check your progress. Ask yourself, “Was I genuinely empathetic today?” Re-examine your contact situations and look for ways to improve.
Revealing Your Empathetic Side in the Future
Empathy is a step in gathering more information, in becoming a part of your client’s team, in building a relationship, and in letting people know you care. But no one is a born empathizer; the ability to empathize with people is a learned skill that you must develop over time.
To develop your ability to empathize, put yourself into other people’s shoes and learn to see situations from other perspectives. Foster relationships and open communication by developing your listening skills. Offer feedback and learn how to ask more effective questions. Finally, step out of your comfort zone and involve yourself in more personal conversations.
When you are good at being empathetic, you actually feel the same way the other person does. You understand how and why he or she does certain things, and you know how to help the person solve his or her problems. Essentially, you become a more effective business professional and a better person in general. As a result, not only will people confide in you more during business communications, but you’ll also build lasting relationships in your business and personal life. Your likeability factor will zoom to the top and you will help other people their journey.
Empathy from The Respect Factor® Series
THE RESPECT FACTOR® is a trademark of Jack Perry in the United States and other countries. Used with permission. ©2009 Jack Perry. All rights reserved
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